Soooo, I know I haven't been here at all..but blah...life has been giving me some roughies just now. I have everything I've ever wanted- good education, independence from my parents, a good bf. But why am I still not satisfied? Is it too much to ask for to be happy for once with w/e I have? I think I'm becoming a selfish brat..with nothing that can satisfy me. Whenever I get something, I'll want something else. It's like a disease. To me, it seems like its all about ACQUIRING the thing rather than genuinely wanting it which causes complication in the long run when I've actually acquired it. See, after I acquire it, I get bored and move on to other things that I can't have. To me, it's all a game. I know it's horrible of me to say this, but my life is in shambles right now and I honestly don't know what I want. Everyday I put on a facade trying to make everyone around me think 'm stable and know what I want, but how can I do that when I don't even know what I want? to be continued...
4/25/03 was when I had signed up for xanga. 9/25/09- I suppose you can say, I'm going to start it up again and writing nonsense about my life again...
So, just for kicks, I went back all the way looking at my old weblogs, and honestly it was such a weird and also bittersweet experience. I saw all my ramblings as a teenager and am not proud of some of the things I had written. Most of all, I don't really like how I conducted myself. In my past blogs, I typed lyke dis........ And, I mean it's okay, but I do realize that I am 19 right now, and if I'm going to be serious about this, then I might as well make it reader friendly in terms of my typing. I can't promise I'll type like this all the time, all formally and stuff, it's actually taking all of my self control and a lot of backspacing to have it this way. But for now, it'll be like this. Gosh, I suppose this will be extremely awkward to read when I'm in my 30's...
Updates~Where am I at this point of my life?
School/Education -I am a currently a sophomore at Florida Institute of Technology (FIT)...not fashion institute ok?? lolz...do u see this? I've already reverted back to typin like i've never took a basic english class b4.. but i do feel tht this is a lot more personal that formalities...but i will try to cut it down a bit hahaha. Anyways,
brb...edit later..tired..with college, i think i get more add-ish..=/
so, its been like wht, 3 years since i've written here?? honestly i've been throught the "fads" & sadly will admit to myself that i've conformed with society in jumpin on the bandwagon to a series of social networkin/bloggin sites. ive been through sconex, myspace, myyearbook, and now am an avid facebooker. Since i've came my senses & with a little prodding from Elisabeth, I've decided to start this up again.. See, facebook isn't exactly my definition of private. Everyone knows what ur'e doing with whomever u're doing, wherever you're doing. & although its good to stalk people, sometimes i just want to be myself. I know its horrible to say that i can't show most people the real me, but i'd think if they did know who i really am, they wouldn't be able to handle it. haha. i sound ridiculously egotistic right now.. i actually fell asleep last night from 10pm-4am this morning...so i'm kinda sleep deprived.
i really hate coming back and not knowing where everythin went....like wtf is da old look n feel section?? wht's this themes bs?? i dunno wht to say fer now....but i guess ill come back... no class 2day...wish all mah fridays were like this...
so, yeah...i gues i'll write about college in shit here..but i still want a more personal blog i can write on....=/
